It seems like every few days I feel emotional. Today is one of those days. I know that part of change is letting go of the past and sometimes I find myself holding onto things that aren't good for my mental well being. I think what bothers me the most is when I see something change that I had a part of. I don't know if it's because I've gotten myself wrapped up in what I believe in so much that I can't see an alternate view, or if it's just grieving the loss of something I loved so much.
Perhaps I found too much of my self-worth through my work and not enough through my faith. I'm one of those people that as a child, I had a lot of negative messages going through my head, and although I am older and have worked through most of the messages, some are still there. I remember when I was in my 20's I posted little notes around my apartment to change the way I thought of myself. After a couple years I began to believe in my abilities and really started to grow in my position at work. I gained more and more experience, and was promoted a few times into new roles that I found challenging and rewarding. I invested a lot of time and emotions into my job.
Where do I get my self-worth from now that I don't have a job? As I mentioned above, I can turn to God for help with this but what else? My children, my husband, my home, my family... a little bit of everything? Perhaps there is more than one reason I find myself without a job and going through this change. Maybe I will learn more about myself than I ever dreamed of. I know this too shall pass in regards to how I feel today and I must have faith that things are going to be okay. Self-discovery is a wonderful thing, and I am grateful I have this opportunity.
Until next time.
Sue
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